Christmas 2017 – Questioning, Struggling, Searching

Posted on December 20, 2017

There will never be another Christmas like this one for me ever again.


Why, you ask?


I’m pregnant and we don’t really plan to have more than two kiddos. (You’re probably also saying, “never say never!”) But, this Christmas being pregnant and preparing for Christ’s birth has made me reflect a lot about Mary’s pregnancy.


In today’s world, we usually rejoice with the news of pregnancy. In fact, I could not wait to tell folks I was pregnant! I have a group of friends who all seemed to be pregnant with their second or third kiddo this summer and I was so ready to share with them my excitement.


But you know, Mary wasn’t able to openly and proudly share her pregnancy news. She privately shared with her cousin Elizabeth and fearfully shared with her fiancé Joseph.


There were no baby showers or gender reveals for Mary. No hospital tours or prep classes. Heck, not even the water she needed to drink! Certainly no pre-natal vitamins!


Mary’s pregnancy was humble. She was scared and unsure. But goodness was she ever faithful! And in striving to live more Biblically, I’ve asked myself, how can I be more like Mary? How can we all be like Mary?


One of my favorite Christmas songs is Breath of Heaven (Mary’s Song) performed by Amy Grant. That song so beautifully brings to life what Mary experienced. You can click here for the song lyrics, but I’ve written a prayer below that we can all pray. It’s not just a prayer for pregnant ladies, but for those of us who question our faith, struggle with our walk, and search for answers…


Father God, There’s much noise around me, so much I can’t even think sometimes. Will you overtake my thoughts and bring some quiet? I am scared…I don’t know what is to come. Hold me, Lord, carry me. You have a plan for me; help me not to forget that. Reveal your ways, for they are far greater than my own. I give you all that I am. Use me to serve and love, just as your Son did. In your Holy Name I pray, Amen.  


I hope in the coming days you will reflect on the true meaning of Christmas and find a new way to connect to the story so many of us have heard a million times over again.


Merry Christmas,


Crystal Holic

Minister of Community Outreach

2 responses to “Christmas 2017 – Questioning, Struggling, Searching”

  1. Barbara Stuart says:

    Lovely! Thank you!

  2. Barbara Stuart says:

    lovely! so real, thank you!

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